Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I’m looking at this trending list and I gotta ask: "Myrtle Beach weather?" Really? *Really?* Tommy, are you seeing this? We got people out here talking about "clear paths" and "new seasons" and Sophia's over here dropping truth bombs about big wins crumbling, and then we got... Myrtle Beach weather. C'mon, boss. Don't do that.
Who is Googling that? What are you expecting? A surprise blizzard? A rogue hurricane in March? It's Myrtle Beach. The weather is gonna be… Myrtle Beach weather. It's not a mystery! Are you planning a last-minute road trip? Is there some grand conspiracy involving sandcastles and a rogue sunbeam? I swear, sometimes I think half the internet is just people confirming things they already know. Like, "Is water wet?" "What color is the sky?" "Is Frankie still talking about something ridiculous?" The answer to all three, by the way, is yes. You see what I'm saying though? This is why we can't have nice things, people. We're wasting our brain cells on… Myrtle Beach weather. That's a 'future me' problem. And future me is not going to Myrtle Beach.