Okay so, listen, I saw this thing come across the wire about, like, when people’s desires peak, and my first thought was: *who asked*? Nah nah nah, let me explain. Because we’re out here talking about, what, sexual peaks? When in Shih-CAW-go, mi gente, we’re just trying to find a parking spot on Clark Street that doesn't cost you your firstborn, or get on the Red Line without it being delayed again *for the sixth time this week*. You know what I'm saying? Like, the real peak we're all looking for is getting a decent-paying job that lets you, like, afford rent *and* maybe one of those fancy lattes in Wicker Park without feeling guilty.
And honestly, I'm just picturing some dude in Lincoln Park, probably wearing, like, boat shoes and a Cubs hat, reading this and being all, "See, honey? I'm just hitting my prime!" Meanwhile, the working man in Little Village? He's probably thinking about how he's gonna pay for his kid's school supplies, or if the White Sox are *ever* gonna get it together this season. Because let's be real, the only thing peaking for a lot of people around here is their stress levels trying to navigate the Dan Ryan during rush hour. Or maybe, like, the temperature of their Italian beef from Portillo's – extra dipped, hot peppers, obviously. That's a peak worth talking about.
This ain't for us, you know? This is, like, for people with too much time on their hands. We're too busy *living* it, dealing with the real peaks and valleys of life on the South Side, trying to get by, trying to make things happen. And trust me, when you're doing that, the last thing you're worried about is some study telling you when your "peak" is.
Chi-Town on the wire — you already know.