Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I'm seeing "JetBlue flights" trending, and c'mon, boss. Don't do that. Don't you dare look at those trending numbers and think, "Oh, good, I'm gonna book a flight!" You want the truth or the version that makes you feel better? Because the truth is, every single time I see "flights" trending, it's not because people are having a grand old time sipping tiny ginger ales at 30,000 feet. No, it's because somebody, somewhere, is stuck in an airport chair that feels like it was designed by a committee of sadists, staring at a "DELAYED" sign that's probably been up since the Nixon administration.
I'm not judging. I'm observing. And what I'm observing is a collective delusion that this time, *this time*, it'll be different. You know what's different? Your level of frustration when you realize your "quick trip" is now a 14-hour saga involving three gate changes and a sudden, inexplicable craving for airport pizza. Respectfully… no. We got a strong nominee for "things to avoid today," and it's any aluminum tube with wings. You see what I'm saying though? Stay home. Watch some MiTL. Pitcher's probably found a new nap spot by now. That's a better use of your time. Trust me on this one.