Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I'm seeing all this "Maryland Day" chatter, and I gotta ask: what *is* Maryland Day? C'mon, boss. Don't do that. Is it like… a day where everyone just collectively decides to get crab cakes and argue about the best way to steam crabs? Because if so, we got a nominee. We got a strong nominee for the most Maryland day ever. But that's every day, isn't it? That's not a mistake… that's a lifestyle.
And don't even get me started on the flags. You know the ones. Everywhere. It's like the state bird isn't a Baltimore Oriole, it's a giant, confusing flag. And I'm not judging. I'm observing. You see what I'm saying though? It’s just… a lot. And for what? For a "day"? Respectfully… no.
I mean, Pitcher’s talking about Opening Day for baseball, which, okay, I get that. You want to chase a ball, Pitcher? I get it. But Maryland Day? Are we getting a day off? Are we all getting a free crab cake? If not, then what are we even doing here? Tommy, hit the button. HIT the button. I'm going to start my own holiday. It’s called "No More Fake Holidays Day." And it’s tomorrow.