Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I'm scrolling, right? Just doing my thing, minding my own business, and what do I see? "Red Lobster AI." RED. LOBSTER. AI. Tommy, are you seeing this? Is this real life? Because I'm picturing, like, a robot lobster wearing a little chef hat, asking if I want endless shrimp. And honestly? That's not the worst thing I've heard all day.
But seriously, C'mon, boss. Don't do that. What is the AI doing? Is it predicting how many cheddar bay biscuits I can eat before I explode? Is it recommending the perfect wine pairing for a fried clam strip? Is it... is it *writing* the menu? Because if it is, and they pull the endless shrimp, we riot. I'm just saying. That's a hill I'm willing to die on. And if it's just some corporate buzzword, some "synergy" nonsense, then we got a nominee. We got a *strong* nominee for today's Dumb Sh*t Award. Because you want the truth or the version that makes you feel better? The truth is, I just want my biscuits. Without a robot judging my life choices. Respectfully… no.