Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. We gotta talk about this Marco Rubio shoes thing, because I swear to god, I saw that picture and my soul left my body for a second. C'mon, boss. Don't do that. You’re a whole senator, right? And you show up looking like you just wrestled a bear in a hiking boot catalog. It’s not a mistake… that’s a lifestyle choice, and I'm not judging. I'm observing. But also, I'm judging. Respectfully… no.
I get it, man. Sometimes you just gotta be comfortable. I’m wearing socks with sandals right now, Tommy, don’t look at me like that. But those shoes? Those look like they’ve seen things. Like they could tell stories about tax reform and national parks and maybe even a little bit of sasquatch. You see what I'm saying though? It’s too much. It’s just too much.
And then I start thinking, is this a power move? Is he just so confident he can wear whatever he wants and we’ll all just be like, "Yeah, that’s just Marco, he’s doing him"? That's crazy… but it's also him. We got a nominee for "least fashion-conscious politician" right here. Strong nominee. And now I’m wondering if he had those on for a State of the Union or something. Imagine the whole room, all serious, and then… BAM. Those shoes. Future me problem to deal with that visual.