Well, folks, hold onto your… well, your pants, because scientists at the University of Maryland have dropped a real bombshell. Forget climate change or the latest AI breakthrough; these brilliant minds have been busy building "smart underwear" to track our flatulence. And the results? Let's just say we've all been living a lie.
Apparently, we're not the demure gas-passers we once thought. The long-held belief of 14 farts a day has been utterly debunked. The new average? A whopping 32! That's more than double, people. One overachiever even hit 59. So, next time you're discreetly blaming the dog, remember the University of Maryland is silently judging, and their smart undies are probably recording. My only question is, what's next? Smart socks for tracking toe wiggles? The future, it seems, is far more fragrant than we ever imagined.