Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I'm seeing "pranks for April Fools" trending and I gotta ask, c'mon boss, don't do that. Seriously. Every single year. Every. Single. Year. Some genius out there thinks, "You know what would be *hilarious*? Pretending I'm pregnant!" Or, even better, "I'm going to tell my boss I quit!" Oh, the *hilarity*!
And then what happens? They get the reaction they wanted, maybe a little panic, maybe a little genuine concern, and then they drop the "April Fools!" like they just invented comedy. It's not a prank, it's emotional whiplash. You see what I'm saying though? It's not a mistake… that's a lifestyle of being a menace.
Tommy, you know what I'm talking about. Remember last year? Someone put a fake spider in my coffee mug. A *fake spider*. In my *coffee*. That’s not a prank, that's a declaration of war on my morning routine. And my morning routine is sacred, people! It's the only thing holding this whole operation together.
So, if you're out there planning your "hilarious" April Fools' Day stunt, just… don't. Respectfully… no. Just don't. Go watch Eddie Murphy stand-up instead. It'll be funnier, I promise. And nobody has to pretend they're having twins to make it happen.