Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I'm looking at these trends, right? And I see "volcano" and I gotta ask, c'mon boss, don't do that. What is it with us? We see a giant, smoking, angry mountain that could wipe out a city in a Tuesday afternoon and we're like, "Ooh, pretty pictures for the ‘gram!" That's not a mistake… that's a lifestyle. We are actively seeking out the end of the world for content!
And then you got "graduation" trending next to it. You know what that means, right? Half these kids are gonna get their diplomas, scroll through their feed, see a volcano, and go, "You know what? Screw the job market. I'm moving to El Salvador. Get me close to that lava, baby!" That's crazy… but it's also you, right? I'm not judging. I'm observing. You want the truth or the version that makes you feel better?
Tommy, you seen these volcano videos? The ones where people are like, "It's just a little rumble!" A little rumble until your house is a fresh rock formation, my man! Respectfully… no. I'm staying right here, in the MiTL Sports Desk annex. Safe. Sound. Mostly. Hit the button. HIT the button. I need a distraction before I start planning my own volcanic influencer career.