Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I'm scrolling, right? And I see "Phoebe Bridgers presale" still trending. Still! And then right under it, "Ticketmaster." You know what? This is it. We got a nominee. We got a *strong* nominee for today's Dumb Sh*t Award. Because if you're still out here, in 2026, getting hyped for a presale, then getting bent out of shape when Ticketmaster does what Ticketmaster *always* does... c'mon, boss. Don't do that. That's not a mistake, dude. That's a lifestyle.
I mean, how many times we gotta go through this? It's like predicting the College World Series in June of *next* year. Seriously? You think you're gonna beat the bots? You think your internet connection is gonna save you? Respectfully… no. Tommy, you listening to this? This is why we can't have nice things! This is why I can't get that vintage video game console I've been eyeing. All the bots are too busy buying up imaginary Phoebe Bridgers tickets. You see what I'm saying though? It's a sickness! You're a clown for presale tickets. Seriously. My dude, my dude… just wait for the album drop, okay? It'll be fine. Probably.