Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I'm seeing all this chatter about MLB Opening Day. Pitcher’s even hyped about it, which, you know, good for him. He likes balls. I get it. But nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is talking about the real scandal unfolding right now. We got a nominee. We got a strong nominee for today's Dumb Sh*t Award. And it's not even a person. It's the *idea* of it.
"Tigers Opening Day 2026." Two thousand twenty-six! We are still in *twenty twenty-six*, people! Are we really already talking about *next year's* opening day? C'mon, boss. Don't do that. That's not a mistake; that's a lifestyle of looking so far ahead you trip over your own feet. We haven't even finished *this* season, and you're already future-tripping? That’s crazy… but it’s also you, internet. Just live in the moment for five seconds. Tommy, tell 'em. Tell 'em they're wild for this.