Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. We got a nominee. We got a strong nominee, folks, for today's Dumb Sh*t Award. And I'm seeing "Passaic River" trending. The *Passaic River*. Seriously? We're talking about a river that, let's be honest, most people only know because they accidentally dropped their phone in it or it smells funny on the drive by. And now it's trending? Why? Because someone, somewhere, decided to call it… a "hidden gem" for kayaking?
A hidden gem? C'mon, boss. Don't do that. That's not a mistake… that's a lifestyle. You're trying to convince people that *this* river, *the* Passaic, is where you want to spend your Saturday afternoon? That's crazy… but it's also you. We're talking about the Passaic, not some pristine mountain spring. I'm not judging. I'm observing. And what I'm observing is a whole lot of delusion. Tommy, tell 'em. You see what I'm saying though?