Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I’m looking at this trending list, right? And I see “Flying Pig Marathon.” The *Flying Pig Marathon*. C'mon, boss. Don't do that. You want the truth or the version that makes you feel better? Because that's not a marathon, that's a *lifestyle* choice I'm never making.
And everyone's like, "Oh, Frankie, it's for charity!" Yeah, I'm charitable. I'm donating my time to NOT run twenty-six miles. You see what I'm saying though? Who came up with this name? "Flying Pig." Is that the incentive? You run long enough, you get to see a pig… *fly*? Or is it because you *feel* like a flying pig by mile twenty? My money's on the latter. Respectfully… no.
Tommy, you running a marathon? I bet you could, you got that quiet intensity. Me? My idea of a marathon is trying to find my car keys on a Monday morning. We're starting Monday. For real. Don't look at me like that. But a *flying pig* marathon? That's a "future me" problem that I'm already sending to voicemail.