Alright, listen—listen—LISTEN. I'm scrolling through these trends, right? And I see "Last Minute Mother's Day Gift Ideas." Last minute? C'mon, boss. Don't do that. It's Friday. Mother's Day is SUNDAY. That's not a mistake… that's a lifestyle. And it's not a good lifestyle.
You know what this is? This is the "future me" problem. You were like, "Future me will handle Mother's Day. Future me has it locked down." And now future you is present you, sweating bullets, looking up "sugared violets" on Amazon Prime with one-day shipping. That's crazy… but it's also you. And if you're out there, panicking, trying to figure out if a gift card to that place that does the foot massages counts as "thoughtful," I'm not judging. I'm observing. And I'm telling you, Tommy, this is exactly why you gotta lock it in. Plan ahead! Or at least pretend to.
You want the truth or the version that makes you feel better? The truth is, your mom knows. She knows you just thought of it. Now go write a card. A real one. With, like, words.